


Your Sex Life Is As Good As Gone

by storm_8



Series: Joys of Motherhood [40]
Category: Women's Murder Club (TV)
Genre: F/F, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-23
Updated: 2013-06-23
Packaged: 2017-12-15 21:30:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/854260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storm_8/pseuds/storm_8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lindsay decides to share the many ways in which children ruin one's sex life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your Sex Life Is As Good As Gone

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own the show or its characters. I merely borrow them for everyone's enjoyment.  
> I do own the original characters: I am quite fond of them!  
> All mistakes are mine.

Jill Bernhardt slumped ungracefully and unceremoniously on the couch and released a very tired sigh. Lindsay smirked at her friend’s dishevelled appearance and took a sip of her beer. Cindy noticed and pinched her lover on the arm, but it had little to no effect on the grinning inspector.

“So…” Came the brunette’s drawl, causing the attorney to raise her head from the back of the couch to glance at the other woman suspiciously.

“So, what?”

“How is motherhood working for ya?” There was another cheeky grin and the blonde stuck her middle finger out at her friend, head falling back with a muffled thump.

Cindy wanted to admonish her lover, but she was also very amused by her friend’s very impolite rebuke. She giggled instead. “Don’t worry Jill. The midnight feeding will soon end, then the late night crying and wailing will turn into sleeping through the night and sooner than you think, you’ll have a moody, high on sugar, scowling teenager trudging about the house. And then you’ll be wishing you were dealing with midnight feedings instead of the school’s principal because _someone_ got into a fight again.”

Sitting on the floor a few feet away, bouncing a happy gurgling baby Tyler off her knee, Ashley scowled at her mother. “I didn’t get _into_ a fight. I ended it with a well placed punch. There’s a difference. And I’m not moody!”

“And I’m not high on sugar!” Lily added, and then resumed her skipping and dancing around the living room.

Baby Tyler couldn’t care less whether his cousins were moody teenagers and continued gurgling happily at the redhead’s flouncing and flailing limbs.

Cindy merely raised an eyebrow and turned back to Jill with a look that clearly said ‘See? I know what I’m talking about.’

The woman groaned and slumped further into the couch in defeat.

Lindsay smirked and took another sip of her beer, before setting it down on the coffee table and clearing her throat. “Actually… There’s something else that needs to be added to that list.” She made sure she had her friend’s full attention and then declared in the most dramatic tone “Your sex life is as good as gone.”

Something clattered to the floor in the kitchen. Denise’s muttering could be heard and Claire, eyebrow raised high, poked her head out the door.

Oblivious to her daughters’ slightly horrified looks and sour faces and to Jill’s disbelieving expression, the inspector continued. “There will be no funny business in the morning after waking up, because you’ll have an eager toddler crawling on top of you and then shrilling in your ear for you to wake up and make waffles. No sex on the couch, or against the wall, or in the kitchen or generally when the children are in the house…” And on she went, spouting off the different and various ways by which your sex life is ruined once you’ve had children.

Until Claire, being the more mature of all the people in the room, decided to intervene and very effectively stuck a slice of garlic bread into the inspector’s mouth, stopping her midway through her monologue.

Lindsay chocked and started coughing, spiting out the bread and glaring at the M.E.

Baby Tyler pulled on Ashley’s sweater to get her attention because the bouncing had stopped and he had been enjoying himself. He whined a bit for added persuasion and then he was being hastily carried to the kitchen, away from the adults’ disturbing and emotionally scarring conversations.

Lily practically ran after her sister and then slammed the door shut.

Denise was not surprised by the turn of events. After years of spending time with these women she had gotten used to their very strange interactions. She was merely grateful that her son would not be subjected to the rest of the conversation.

For the time being, anyway.

******

 

Back in the living room, Lindsay was on the receiving end of Claire’s less than amused glare, Cindy’s reproachful, if slightly amused, gaze and Jill’s still disbelieving look.

“What?! Every thing I said is true! I should know! I mean, I remember this one time…”

 

 

_Flashback_

 

Lindsay’s gaze travelled along her lover’s naked back, taking in the curves, the dips, the rise and fall of Cindy’s torso. Her fingers itched to travel the same path but she restrained herself. She didn’t want to wake up her lover just yet. Thus, she continued to gaze appreciatively, mind wandering back to the events of the previous night.

As if sensing the lecherous grin spreading across the brunette’s features, the redhead whimpered in her sleep and stretched out more fully. This caused the sheet covering her lower half to slide further down.

The inspector sucked in a sharp breath and finally reached out a hand, running it down her lover’s spine. Cindy squirmed and burrowed further into her pillow.

Then, soft hungry lips were trailing the same path, stopping next to an ear. “Wake up, Sleeping Beauty…” Lindsay husked and continued spreading heated kisses along freckled shoulders.

The redhead moaned and rolled over, searching for the brunette’s lips and locking them in a heated kiss.

The taller woman settled on top of lover, hands trailing down her curves. One went to the small of her back, the other stopping on a creamy thigh and caressing the skin with feather light touches.

Then, out of nowhere, someone poked Lindsay’s shoulder and a squeaky, innocent voice asked: “Mommy, what you doing?”

Upon registering the words, the inspector flew off her lover as if burned and ended up falling off the other side of the bed. Cindy blinked rather owlishly and then scrambled for the bed sheets, covering herself up as quickly as she could and turning beet red.

There was a litany of curses from her right and then her lover’s head popped up, but the woman remained on the floor since there was no way for her to return to her bed and hide under the covers without giving her three year old daughter another flash of her attributes.

Barely tall enough to be able to look over the bed, Ashley had watched the proceedings with curious, wide eyes. Then, completely unfazed by what she had just seen, she demanded breakfast. “Mama, me hungry! I wanna waffles!”

 

_End of Flashback_

 

 

Even Claire had to admit that it was incredibly funny. She had not heard this story before and she was trying very hard to keep her laughter under control. Lindsay looked very serious; as if someone had just told her she would not be working as a police inspector for at least three weeks, and the M.E. had a feeling her amusement would not be welcome at that point in time.

Jill was shocked. She didn’t know whether to laugh, ask Ashley about what she’d just been told, or be horrified that it might happen to her one day.

Cindy released a giggle, which in turn caused Claire to lose her fight for control and burst into raucous laughter.

At the time, Lindsay certainly did not think the situation had been funny.

At all.

She had been, almost literally, on her way to heaven, only to be brought crashing down by a hungry toddler demanding waffles.

But seeing Jill’s disbelieving look turn into one of horror made her face split into an evil smirk. Finally she would be the one teasing her friend about her sexual frustrations, after years of having endured it from the blonde, cheeky attorney.

 


End file.
